Random

This is my last post of the last month of the last day of the year. Excitement about new year is not so much except that it is just another day. Nevertheless, I felt I should write a post of random thoughts. Speaking about resolutions for the umpteenth time :D I will still say to people, make resolutions as you go. Do not wait for the entire year thinking you will start something from the next year. Start as soon as you can.

I had planned to write 31 blog posts during december month; a post a day. And it worked pretty well. On three days, I wrote “Nothing Special” posts wherein I didn’t have anything to write about. So I thought I should compensate for that by writing three more posts. This is the last post of the day (Unless I get an urge to write again. But I will curb the urge)

This was a random post with a message to tell everyone that resolutions should be made as and when you feel. In fact, start the very day when you feel. Here’s wishing everyone A Happy New Year in advance!!!

Freshly Arrived

This is my story everytime I buy a new novel.

Ahh! Luxury. The book in front of me is a temptation I cannot resist. It is a brand new copy of the book. The book is lying on my bed. And I am staring at it , like a child staring excitedly at its new toy before  grabbing and engaging itself with the toy for hours. I know I will do the same. I won’t leave the novel until I finish reading its last page. Hence, though tempted, I am taking my time to devour it with my eyes.

What a sight. Each page is crispy and flawless. And the lovely smell of the pages!! Reminds me of the school days. The new books bought for the new academic year would have divine smell. I am experiencing the similar thing here. I do not want to soil the pages, neither do I want to bend the pages and the paperback. I want to keep it AS IS. So I take extra care when I take the book in my hand. No! No one from the house is allowed to touch it without my supervision. I mean, what if they bend the cover or the pages or put some mark on it? I know nobody will do this. They know how I like to keep my books untouched. ;) But unintentionally things do happen, right? So everyone sees the book from distance held in my hands. That is the best view I can provide. If at all, they want to hold it, I take every care that they do not do anything “harmful”. After showing my newly acquired possession to everyone, here it lies in front of me. With extra care I Iift the book and hold it as if I am holding a delicate flower. I flip open the cover and take my time to read every word - be it acknowledgement, license, year.. Why are you smiling? I have paid for it, didn’t I? :P

So I turn page after page, the characters are introduced, the plot thickens, something happens and the story ends. All this while, although I was thoroughly engrossed in the novel, my mind ( or was it sub conscious mind? I do not know who) was smart enough not to bend the cover or the pages. Long after I am done reading the entire book, it still looks as if it is freshly arrived from the bookstore. How cool is that? It can easily pass as a brand new copy.

Turbulence

In the midst of nowhere I sit, brooding. Brooding over what? Oh, wait a second. Am I brooding? Or am I happy? Or do I have no reaction at all? What have I turned into? Don’t I have any opinion ? Yes, I do. But it is lost somewhere. Lost in the depths of turmoil of my mind. Where is it? I search. And I cannot find it even in the umpteenth attempt. So I wait, no I sit. With no reaction and no opinion. And in silence.

Wait, I can see some light coming from the end of the tunnel. A slight faint dot of white..? or is it yellow light? Whatever the colour of the light.. who cares? As long as it is light. And then it vanishes again. And I sit in darkness again. Then I visualise things of the past. And then I am back in present in an instance. I say “Think of the future, that is what will take you towards your goal.” But what’s my goal? Oh ghoshh! Did I forget that too? What have I become? All the things I worked for to achieve it. Where are they? There are with me I suppose. Lost somewhere in the back of my mind. Why am I scared to bring them back again? Fear of something? Fear of someone? Why Oh why is all this confusion? Didn’t you have it in your mind? Why are you scared? Whom are you scared of? Don’t you have an identity of your own?

And I sit again, in darkness. I sleep.

I wake up. I am told I will be able to cross the tunnel and witness the light. Freedom. I realise later that it wasn’t what was said. What was said was that I will have to sit in this darkness forever. So I sleep again, because it is the best way to escape reality.

And I wake up. I know I will go and witness the light shining at the end of the tunnel. But when? And then I realise that I have to break away from the shackles that have been holding me. Why did I let them hold me? I am the master of myself, and my soul.

The Realisation Phase: Yes. I have realised, I am the master of myself. I was always. I just faltered and let others take hold of it.

In A Nutshell

I know that in past few posts I have been bragging that you do not require a new year to start something new. You might have made a list of things that you would like to do this coming year.  To be realistic, not all will be implemented from day one. This is the case with me. I have made a list of things to be done. I know not even half of them will be implemented. Not even two of them will start from day one. Some may begin at a good pace and end up nowhere as the year progresses. Every year should be a measure to weigh how much you improved during twelve months. Start something new when you feel you should. And see your improvement in a month. It helps.

So coming back to my 2015 in a nutshell, it has been a roller coaster ride about which I will write in detail some time. At the year end (December) I made an impulsive plan to blog everyday which kind of gave me a goal to do something (and many other things).

Here’s wishing everyone a Happy New Year!

New year Begins.. Does It Matter To All?

Come December and everyone starts plans for the new year. 30th and 31st of the month is a time when some hurriedly make resolutions while some party hard. Why? Because it will be the beginning of another year. New year, new role, new way;that is what everyone feels. Be a better person this new year, some decide. Well it is a good thing. People tend to be better than what they were during this whole year.

But do all these things matter to every individual? I guess no. There are hundreds, or perhaps thousands who have to struggle to make ends meet. Does a new year matter to them except that the number in the year is changed? Nothing changes. He/she has to get up the next morning to earn his bread and save something.

I haven’t made resolutions for many years. This year I got time to think about it and thought I should implement. Let me see for myself how successful I am in keeping them. To be frank, I did not wait for the new year to commence. I started one or two things in december itself. I am saying again, it is never too late to start anything. You do not have to wait till new year to start something. Everyday is a new day. You can begin what you want when you feel you should.

So am I suggesting that you should stop partying around? No! Consider each day as a new opportunity and go ahead.

Bollywood “Old is Gold” era And Beyond

Disclaimer: Do not expect much from this post. It has been just written which might be improved again in future. I am only writing about my experience.

I have been on cable television dose ever since childhood. Every television series and cartoon of that time gives a nostalgic feeling even now. Besides that, movies too were an integral part of my growing years. I do not watch many movies now like I used to before.

I remember watching many movies in my childhood, specially the movies of the “old is gold” era. I am a big fan of Raj Kapoor movies even now. Mughal e Azam still remains one of my personal favorite. Nothing can beat the movie.

Every decade of the Indian cinema left its own charm. This has been nicely shown in the song “Phir Milenge Chalte Chalte” from the movie “Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi”. Although I didn’t like the movie so much, I enjoyed this particular song because of each era beautifully shown in it.

From Dev Anand to Amitabh Bacchan, be it Saira Banu or Hema Malini, I have enjoyed the old movies more than the movies I watch now. It is not to suggest that I dislike movies today. Bollywood has conquered many levels and is recognised everywhere for the movies that it makes. I make it a point to watch few movies a year. But the old movies still enchant me. They have a charm of their own.

Even though I have been raised on pure bollywood and cable television dose, I do keep a limit on watching just so that I do not get addicted.

Divide And Conquer Theory

This was the approach we used in problem solving during my academic life. There was an entire chapter devoted on how to solve a given computer problem using the Divide And Conquer rule. As you might know (and for those who are not familiar with this term but you have definitely used it) , it involves breaking a bigger problem into smaller ones and tackling them.

I thought of using this approach this time to break my goals into smaller ones and tackle each individually. After many years I am making resolutions this new year. :D Yeah, after many years.  I thought I wouldn’t make any resolutions on a new year because like I have repeated in many previous blog posts, they were never followed by the end of January. And you do not need a new year for planning anything. You can just start it today, or now, at this moment. That is how I made a plan last month to write everyday, and so far I am successful, though I lag behind.

So now since this method of blogging everyday was more or less a successful attempt, I felt why not plan a few more things and tackle them one at a time. I do have a plan of sort ; just need to implement my Divide and Conquer strategy to each so I do not get overwhelmed with one big thing. I do not wish to stress myself, just do a few stuff which has been pending for a year, and few things have been pending for few years now. Take it easy, relax and tackle each of them is my motto.

And for people who haven’t made their resolutions. Do not panic. You do not need January 1st to start something new. You can plan and start it on any day.

For Divide And Conquer, see this wikipedia definition by clicking -> HERE.

Losing Touch

No blogging for four days despite having decided that I would blog everyday for a month. Am I losing touch due to no blogging for four days? Why this question? Because I am finding it difficult to find topics to write about.

It was out of nowhere that I had decided that I would blog each day. And I started loving it. Blogged on diverse topics, be it boring or interesting. Almost all of them were based on personal experience. This was end year resolution to blog every day. I wasn’t prepared for this. Neither I had any topics lined up for 31 days. Made an impulsive decision. There were days when I didn’t know what to write about. So I would come up with small articles based on my daily life. I kept going with writing. And here I am. Falling behind by four blog posts.Any topic that you would like to suggest?

Crazy Little Thing

Disclaimer: This is just a small article that cropped up in my mind. DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT let your mind wander.

Mind. Wanders, comes back on the track, and wanders again.

Crazy little thing, it is.

Just when I thought my mind was back on track, it wandered. And it went, out of my own reach. Trying to bring it back was of no good, because it went further and further. I went crazy trying to grab it. The more I tried to bring it under control, the more crazy it made me. The craziness crossed its limits until I decided it was time to let it go; let it wander and it will come back to me.

Mind Ramblings: “Any”Fie

With Selfie came the trend of clicking your own pics. Now there was no need to nag someone to click your photo. The trend has reached such an extent that every person now is his own photographer. Well, it is good. Clicking your own pics requires effort. I came to know this after clicking few horrible selfies. I envy the people who click such lovely selfies. Clicking your selfies has an advantage. U know how the end product will look like. I prefer being clicked ( old habit) and I still nag people to click my photos. I go the traditional way.

So coming back to the topic. Click your own pic. It becomes a selfie. Click a group pic, becomes a groupfie. click a cat’s pic, it becomes a catfie and so on. Attach the first word or half of it to word “fie” and it describes the pic that you clicked. Just use your imagination and create your own word.

When will I learn to click a proper selfie??

Mind Ramblings: About Resolutions

This post is more like a conversation with the reader. I would like your suggestions on how well I can implement the things that I have decided. I want realistic suggestions. Do leave them in the comment section.

Making new year resolutions always seemed exciting during childhood. There would be a page stapled to my diary which contained my resolutions for the forthcoming year. Writing diary regularly, gaining weight were among the many resolutions that would be in the list. But as January paved the way for february, all these resolutions remained attached to the previous years’ diary. So I stopped making new year resolutions because I never followed them. Years passed. This year I thought of blogging everyday in the month of december. Skeptical at first, I started getting recognition and that has kept my writing going. There were days when I didn’t have a topic. “Nothing Special” came in handy at this time just to keep me going. For if I had skipped any single day, it would have stopped again. So I wrote those “no meaning” “Nothing Special” topic when I didn’t have anything to write about. And now I feel I have many topics but no time to write :)

Procrastination keeps me away from doing many things even when I feel I should do something. It was procrastination that distanced me from writing on important topics that I could have written many months back. Better late than never. Those topics will come over time.

This time around, I thought I should make resolutions. It is more like a plan, a start to “restart” many things that I had stopped doing and instead opted to sit lazily. I want to do things methodically and not in hurry and haste. Few of them I will list down here so that you all can give suggestions in the comments on how I can implement them properly.

1. Reading “n” number of books this year and writing reviews on the same in my blog.

Do keep in mind that I am a voracious reader so “n” can be a high number,but not unrealistic :D

2.  Writing a blog post everyday in January. Or at least one post per week in January and other months.

Do give me suggestions for this and more goals as far as reading and writing or both combined together is concerned. Suggestions on writing on different subjects is welcome. Or you could suggest me writing contests or whatever :P

What’s My Secret?

Note: This post is in response to BlogChatter prompt “What’s your secret?”. I thought of writing it in a different way as first person. Hope you like it.

What is my secret? How can I divulge it to you? Can I trust you enough to share it with you?

It feels that I have known you long enough. Ever since we first conversed. I remember the first sentence. Yes I do. It is permanently etched in my mind. I remember the date; and the time too. You do not trust me even though I do, but how can I tell it to you? Will you do something about it?

Nevertheless I will give it away; with the hope that you will preserve it and do something to make it happen. My secret is ordinary. Nothing to hide from anyone. My secret is I want to remain happy. There. Didn’t I tell you that it is ordinary and it is not what people will call a secret? And I know you will not do anything to make my wish come true. Still I wait with hope that a day will come and you will realise how much worth you are to me. Oh! Didn’t I tell you this? Of course I did. And what did you do? Break my trust and in turn stopped trusting me. But I still wait, and I wait, for things to become normal because hope is the last one to give up. Hope never gives up.

Messy Room

This story of Messy Room persisted up till many months back.

I liked my messy room which would be crystal clean once a month; and as time progressed,once in six months. My room was my personal space. Sitting (read half sitting and half lying) on the bed and staring out of the window was my favorite personal time. “The Bed” as I like to call it now, would be strewn with few books, mobile phone and my ever companion - my laptop;and yes of course, me, lost among umpteen other things on the bed. The Bed was my playground, with all the above mentioned equipments lined up at my disposal. Read a page from the book when I felt like, or check my cell when a message came, while the laptop always ready to flash whenever I commanded. The Bed was my world.

“The Table”, contained only the required (and few totally un required) stationary in the drawers. The Table is a multipurpose table. Besides the drawers, it has space for desktop computer. Most of the space of The Table was and is still occupied with books and one or two photo frames. The Sitting Window too was covered with books of genres that I read.

The Messy Room sufficiently filled with books and 24 hour internet service never required me to go out on a lazy day when I would be home.

Outside The Window

Jumping from one twig to the other of the leaf less tree trunk in the winter, the "Little Red One" finally settled on a slightly sturdy twig. It is a regular visitor here, and this is its regular “hanging” spot. It is busy moving its head here and there, but for what? Searching for a prey? Or just sitting and passing the time? I do not understand. I watch it for like say more than fifteen minutes. Its head is stationary now. Is it sleeping? Or just staring at something? I then get bored and think that I will return to watch it after half hour. But curiosity brings me back near the window within five minutes. It is still sitting on the twig. Staring in the same direction that it was when I had left. Whatever is it thinking? Or, is it thinking anything at all? I watch as closely as I can. The red feathers are not actually red. It is different shade of red. Vibrant. It comes almost everyday. And I watch it almost everyday. It stares at something in some direction. And I stare at it with myriad questions in my mind. It has become a regular visitor here, not knowing it is being watched over from behind, and that ample questions are being popping up about its existence from behind him. But does it care at all? No. It goes with its daily schedule. It comes everyday, either moves head or stares in one direction; clueless.

Books That Made Me

This article is in response to the prompt by BlogChatter.

I have read or atleast seen the cartoons on the books which my mother would excitedly buy for me. Fairytale book on Cinderella still remains my favorite. Apart from that I have always treasured the nursery rhymes books and another comic book which my parents bought for me during my kindergarten years.

I have always loved reading, may be because of the books, or may be it is in my genes. My parents read a lot. But the books(not book) that really made me are Enid Blyton’s Famous Five followed by Hardy Boys.

I have mentioned about the Enid Blyton’s books earlier in one of my posts this month. You can read it by clicking → THIS.  I started reading them when I was in third or fourth grade.

The post whose link I shared in previous sentence will tell you exactly how I feel about those books. In fact I do not need to write more on this topic since it was written on Day 3 Of Self Challenge for this month.

Nevertheless, Famous Five taught me to be a kid who started loving adventure. Being the tom boy that I was, I started recognising myself with George. Their attire, food and the adventure inspired me and I became a cool girl, All thanks to Enid Blyton for changing the life of kids. It taught me to imagine the life that they lived.

About Writing & Blogging

This is a question I would like to ask people who blog. Why do you blog? Some say it gives a platform to showcase their creativity to wider audience with the hope that they would appreciate the talent. Some write because writing is like a vent for them to display their emotions. Well, reasons are many for many people. Blogging for some is a style and fashion- I blog because all my friends do that and I do not want to be left out. Whatever the reason may be, blogging platform has given everyone an opportunity; people who love writing can reach to wider audience, and blogging has encouraged people to write even though one never liked writing. All in all, it has brought like minded people together. Writing a composition during school would have been difficult for some, but they turned out to be fantastic writers/bloggers.

As for me, I have always loved writing. I tell this very proudly. If you had happened to open my cupboard where I kept my stationary and story books, you would find ample books, and equal number of chits, papers and books which described what I thought of at any particular moment. This was during my childhood days. I could best say that I would and still express about something when I am totally engrossed in it. For instance, I wrote this blog when I was feeling utterly lonely and there was no one I could turn to. I may not have written it any other time. Once I felt I have something in my mind that is worth writing, I would immediately scribble about it on a paper.. I love this and this more than any of my other blogs that I have written so far. (Kindly click on "this" words in my previous sentences to read my favorite articles :P

I used to keep a diary before where besides writing about my daily schedule, I would write some articles. I think there was a time when I kept one diary for daily writing and another book for my articles that I would write when some topic popped in my mind. I still remember the days when I would take a pen and paper and start scribbling about any topic. Those were the days.

I do not remember how I came to know about blogging. It was way back in 2007 or 2008 as far as I can remember. Instead of writing on diaries and journals, I wrote a handful of blogs. Since laziness is deep-rooted within me, I moved away from blogging, only to write one article a year. Another reason for not writing was that no one would read my blogs. I was told by many that I should keep writing no matter whether anyone reads or not.I started moving away from my writing passion which in turn kept me away from blogging. I always had that fear(you could see it as a note in my previous posts) that people will ridicule my article due to grammar errors or funny topics.

I started following this fantastic group BlogChatter. It is a common platform for all the bloggers. I have started getting readership and of course a mentor:) :) who encouraged to write. I casually thought in November that I should blog everyday of the December month. Well, it was an impromptu decision. I was skeptical because I was the one who would publish a blogpost once in a blue moon. And that too after editing it from my friend and thinking umpteen times whether anyone would like or ridicule it. But ever since I started, I feel I have conquered that fear. And I look forward to writing more and more.

Weekend

Yes it is weekend! And I still do not have anything to write about. I have finally completed  the "About Me" section which I will publish in my blog.

Just realised that more than half of this month is over and I have gained a different level of confidence in blogging which I never had before. At the same time, I do not want to get bored of blogging. That is my fear. Any ideas to keep me going? Do leave in the comments section. Your ideas will be considered.

Nothing special III

Oh Yes. This topic again. I do not have anything or any special topic to write on today. But typing something to make 31 posts for 31 days. I know it isn't fair to write "Nothing Special" posts every now and then (Hey! Just 3 posts) just to keep the number of posts to 31. So I thought I should cover up by writing 3 extra posts. So I should have 34-35 posts for this month :D. A Wow moment for me at the end of the month if I do that.

Memories Galore

Disclaimer: Views expressed below poured out from my half asleep mind which was on verge of an afternoon nap reinforced by the cloudy environment on the outside.

Sit with a cup of coffee near the window watching the greenery outside and ample memories start running in front of your eyes; some sweet, some bitter,some you do not know why you remember, some etched permanently in your mind.

One memory will lead the way to the other and thus begins nostalgia. The air looks familiar and you feel like going back in time to live the life again. The summer afternoons, the big rooms. And you had all the time in the world to do all sorts. As for me, writing <3 was the one thing I did mostly. In fact it took all of the time. Then watch some cartoon on cartoon network channel, no matter how many times you have watched the particular episode.

You have hazy memories of your childhood which became significant part of your life. You remember them because they left a deep impact in your life. You remember some even though they do not have any meaning for you now. You do not know why they flash infront of you. Or is it just the mind that is playing the tricks? But they remain. You remember the first paper boat that you had made and watched it move in the rain water.

You allow your mind to go back in time and it sways and wanders, and you do not know what memory it will bring you, making you nostalgic all the time. Physically you cannot go back in time, but memory takes you back. And inadvertantly you start living in the past, sometimes even if you do not want to live it. But you do. Somehow, good or bad, they prod you in the present and then you think, what if it had been other way round? Had it been the other way round,it would have been good provided what had happened was bad, and vice versa.

Some memories grapple, some converge,others coincide and you come to a different conclusion. You may combine two memories (day dreaming, are you ? ) and form a completely different scenario in your mind;which you always wanted but that which never happened.

Memories galore… Memories in abundance… They either disturb you or destroy you. Make you happy, or nostalgic. They will never leave. Some you like to remember, some force themselves on you.  They are your memories, to treasure, and to cherish forever.

Shopping Frenzy

Note: This is an attempt to write a sarcastic blog post. Just thought of including some sarcasm and joke. I hope I have done that. Kindly comment.

Nothing comes in the way of shopping, not even hunger. Got bored at home? Well, shopping is a good therapy to divert your mind from boredom. Feeling homesick? Go to a nearby mall and you will feel home.Feeling low and sad? Go visit a nearby shopping complex; I tell you, it is the best medicine(tested and proven by myself).

There are ups and down when you shop. You have an eye for a lovely coat which you so desire to have. And you know you will have it :D No matter what ( Thus speaks a typical girl who loves to shop. Well, who doesn’t?). And then you check the price. Hmm, it is too high, is what you think. So then, you wait and wait, and research and spend a lot of time to find the worth of that particular dress material only to find that it is THE standard price. Ok, similar stuff in other stores will cost me a fortune, I find. So I buy the lovely coat that I have waited for what? Like say few months?? And then after a month you visit the shop again. But alas!! There is a shock of the decade waiting for you. The same coat is now available for almost half of the price that you paid. So I paid extra bucks?? What is this? And I convince myself saying that I need to research MORE. A lot more.

And then since you have some coupons at home, you go for shopping. You find an interesting store that REALLY needs your attention. And then your stomach rumbles loudly. You look here and there just to make sure that people around haven’t heard it. “Hey girl! I need some food”, your tummy demands. But the store is in need of your attention. So with heavy heart and empty stomach, you continue shopping. Well, the store needed your attention, didn’t it? ( Sarcasm at its best :P) Take your own time for shopping and then gorge on the food. What a lovely shopping day. (Sarcasm is still running at its best ;) )

Third scenario. You accidently visit a shopping place one day and it has hell lot of offers. Yes, ample offers which you do not get everyday and you should grab them when they are available. Do not bother about spending on that day. Because it will save a lot of bucks compared to a non-discount day.  Do not worry. Buy in bulk and save for a rainy day. You will not get these discounts everyday. You shop for few things. And then you enter a store which has mouth watering offers. This of course demands your attention. You do not get such deals everyday. Your shopping companion and well wisher tells you to buy because it will save a lot of bucks. You feel you do not need those items right now. So you feel you have saved a few bucks that day. After a few days, I realise that you do need that stuff. So off you go again to the same shop which had tempting discounts, aanndd DUHH! No discounts. Everything available at normal price. Moral of this scenario, do not think twice when you see tempting discounts. Things which you need everyday even though you may not need at this moment, should be bought and kept. This saves you from spending extra bucks since chances are high that you will not get a discount when you actually need. Full Stop.

Nothing special… Part II

well yes, nothing special to write about today. When I say “nothing special”, it only means that I'm either watching an animated movie(boy, I'm just crazy for animated movies) or I'm reading famous five or hardy boys. I was supposed to read at least five books this month. Half of the month is over and I have completed just one book. Today the goal is to complete half of hardy boys book. 

The One About Television Hype

Before I begin what I want to say, let me give this disclaimer. I am not encouraging anyone to neglect everything and sit infront of the television. This post is about my personal habit not intended to be copied by others. Copying and replicating my habit of TV watching to be done at your own risk. :D :D (Well, now no one should blame me :P  )

Ever since childhood, I have always watched television every single day; be it holidays or regular school days or exam time. I haven’t completely stopped watching tv. Of course, there was a limit to watch it during exams, but it didn’t stop completely. I have been told by many that their television time was strictly restricted. During exam time, I would pity them since the tv was put off and they couldn’t watch even a single program.

Though I have been watching it all along, I never got a craving to watch it. Of course, I wouldn’t miss my favorite cartoons on cartoon network, but that didn’t mean I would go mad if I didn’t watch it one day. We had cable tv at our home during my early childhood when not many people had it. Most of my classmates in school would discuss Shaktiman and all that DD provided. I hadn’t heard of Shaktiman until I was in fifth grade. I only knew the characters from cartoon Network channel. So I, who had seen DD somewhere in childhood and watched only Rangoli on sunday, started watching Shaktiman. Few episodes and there I was. I didn’t like it. I felt cartoon network was better for me. I also remember watching many “epic” and famous serials of that time of cable tv channels. The ones that no one would like to forget and gives a sense of nostalgia to many when they watch it on youtube now. “Good old days”, people say when they see it now. Be it some daily hindi soap of that time, or quiz game, or a cartoon, there is hardly anything that I haven’t watched. And about KBC, I have watched from the first episode of the first season. Of course now I do not watch it. The charm of the first season is different. Nothing can be compared to it. Then the captain planet, Flintstones to name a few.

I know about a family in whose house the television was completely shut off and the screen was facing the wall for the whole year since their child  was in tenth grade. Compare this to my house; I watched the famous serial of that time(I do not remember the name now)  everyday during my final tenth grade exam.

The point I want to convey here is that I am not boasting that I passed my exams with good grades despite watching television everyday. Nor am I encouraging anyone to watch tv like me. I have been scolded many times for extensive television viewing. But I wrote this because I wanted to share with people that if you do not give importance to television viewing, then it won’t be the master of your mind. Despite having full access to television, I never neglected my studies neither compromised on my reading habit and writing that I would do. All in all, when I think ,  I have always maintained a well balance between studies, hobbies and television viewing. Nothing has affected anything.I do not regret that I watched more television. Although I am not the person who played many outdoor games( I have hardly played outdoor games compared to my other friends), I have had other ways of passing my time.

Watching television was just one among the many. Writing and reading novels was my favorite passtime.

Moral of this article from my experience; do not give so much importance to television so that you start neglecting other things.

Plan, Do Not Implement, Repeat…

Plan this weekend that you will do this and you will do that during the next weekend. You plan everything in minute details for the next weekend. You are sitting at home this weekend doing nothing since your plan was ruined which you had made last weekend hence you are making plans for the next weekend. The weekend is over and the week begins. You wait eagerly for the weekend to arrive. The weekend arrives and here you are...planning things for the next weekend since you couldn't implement your plans this weekend. And so on. A vicious circle. 

Strange is it, my name sounds to you?

Now what is this big fuss about my name, huh? Can’t you even pronounce such a simple name in english? You just have to say it the way it is written. Nothing complicated like other names that are around. So then, why do you have to dissect my name and look at me strangely with a “Whattt???? is that a name?” attitude.

“What does your name mean, anyway?”

“Does it have any meaning?”

“Oh! I didn’t have any idea it had mythological significance to it. It just sounds too different.”

“Oh yes of course, I am aware of religion, but didn’t know YOU would have a name derived from mythology”

“Meh..”, is the reaction in my mind when I get the above replies from people who ask my name.

“What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet” goes the saying by Shakespeare. Oh yes! Names were given to objects and people and it stuck with them. And we began to recognise a rose with the name “rose” and not the name “grass”. You had to have identifiers so that we could represent something. It becomes easy for everyone. With due respect for Shakespeare, I do like his saying “What’s in a name…..”. Instead of rose being called a rose, if it was named a “scallion”, it would give the same smell.  But rose it is, now. This was just a thought. Coming back to my name.

I have always had this issue wherever I went. “Hey dear!! What’s your name?” And after telling my name, the reply would be “Haha, how do you say it, can you tell me again?” Whoever asked me this, had such big names which they assumed were easy to pronounce. Tell them a simple name like mine, and they would be like “Huh.. Huh.. What is it, again?”

My name was chosen by my family. It isn’t a common name, I agree. But it does have a meaning. It wasn’t chosen randomly out of the blue to make it sound modern. And it isn’t a big 25 letter name that is hard to pronounce and say. Nevertheless, people have created many versions of my name to suit their convenience. Frankly speaking, it is irritating to listen to the different ways every person says your name. Even more frustrating is that people will say it in three different ways despite telling them another five times.. Ghosh!!! I was once asked if my name had any meaning and received a surprised reaction when I told it had meaning hidden in it. “Go to hell” was the response which remained stuck in my mind instead of coming out from my mouth.

A name is a name, whether it has meaning or not. It’s chosen with great love. Learn not to make fun of it or atleast pronounce properly. A name is something personal and of great importance to each person. No one would like their name being tampered with, atleast I do not like it.

So coming back to rose again, it will still smell sweet by any other name. But why call it grass or grape if it’s recognised as rose all over? Every language has a designated name for it. It has identity because it is called something in that particular language. Calling it something else will be a confusion. Calling me by different versions of my name will not get a response from me because I have been used to being called by my own name. And why give a weird reaction when you hear my name, am I an alien?

P.S. This article depicts my frustration of having to suffer all these years seeing the dissection and different ways of pronouncing my name by different people. I am very particular as far as my name is concerned. And I have met only a handful of people who could pronounce my name in first shot. I do have great respect for them :) :)

Nothing special..

Yea readers, you read it correctly. I did not have any topic to write for today. Nevertheless, I thought I should tap the keys on my keyboard. Miss one day of typing and I know I will not write anything for the next six months. Yea, that’s how procrastination affects me.

So what I am doing right now is watching few movies and reading few books. (Remember, that is another thing that I had planned to do this month. Read atleast five books.) A week has passed of this month and I am still struggling with the first. I do not want to neglect reading due to blog writing.

This is all for today. I know this post is like a formality and written for the sake of writing, but it will be helpful for me to keep going. Like they say, Every little thing matters...

The Struggle Within

Note: Please read this first if you haven't yet by clicking -> ME

I am torn apart because of thee. I feel as if I am walking on a tightrope. I call thou, o beloved, to help me tread the rough path, but thou does not respond. Thou told me to go alone and find my own path; how could I do it without thee?All the people on both side of the mountain ask me, “All well?” “Aye, I am well”, is my reply. my mouth lies,my eyes lie. “Naa! I ain’t well, I will be well with thou and thou alone”. But thou doesn’t seem to understand. My eyes search the crowd to get thou glimpse. But why can’t thou be seen?

I didn’t want to tread this path. I wanted to hold thou hand and go with thee. I love seeing thou smile, as sweet and cute as that of an innocent child. It brightens my life, and I get an overwhelming urge to hug thee. But thou keeps thyself restrained from me.

I am not given any balancing pole, I have to use my hands to balance on the tightrope. “It is too hard”, I said, thou told to go ahead alone whether I liked it or not. I told thou, “this isn’t what I  want, I want to be with thee and I like it when thou helps me in everything”, but thou thought I am too lazy and pushed my limits. I was pushed until my strength was tested and out came nothing but just the hurt within. It tore apart the very existence of our being together. I knew this would happen, didn’t I warn thou many times? Let me try my own things which thou feel are childish, I ask thee to let me be on my own. I will go nowhere but come back to thee, and only thee when I need help. But thou is too harsh. Why? I wonder.  Why is thee caring with everyone except me?

I do not wish to walk on the tightrope, yet I am standing, and maintaining my balance, lest I fall down. I do not wish to cross paths for which I have no liking. Why doesn’t thou understand? Why do I have to take thy rebuke every time when thou has so many faults ?

It is rough path, o beloved, if you make it difficult for me. Just listen to what I have to say, I am going through intense internal struggle. I wish to speak with thou, and not continue this tightrope battle which I have no interest in. Tell me everything, I told thou before, allow me to clear thou of all thy sorrows. Thou feels the sorrows are because I create them. Though doesn’t want to clear the mind and speak to me as thy friend.

Do speak, o beloved, I have been waiting for this conversation forever. Come and hold my hand and take me away from this tightrope forever. Allow me to gather my pieces back again and make me the person that I was. Help me, o beloved thee, let me be me.

DEC POST 8 : DAY 7 of Self Challenge

The Three M Years  (Summary, Part 1)

Before I touch on the actual topic, let me tell you one thing. Most of the Masters degree I guess are of two years duration. M.C.A. is a three year duration course. I thought I will tell it in the beginning because many people have asked as to why MCA is a three year.

I have had my share of fun, long duration of loneliness and everything that one could ask and not ask for.

When I look back at those three years, I see that they have shaped me a lot. Two years passed since I completed my Master’s degree. Many things happened during these two years. Search for job, demanding work hours at job, marriage, shifting on the other side of the globe (This requires another post or two :P) and so on. But the three years of Master’s or “M” as I like to call it, have etched their memory in my mind.

All I can say is learning technology in the midst of woods with snakes moving around once in a while was a “larger than life” experience.And I mean it when I say it. Trees everywhere with less pollution is a good place to learn. The university is located away from the city limits. And that is what still attracts me when I think how I survived in it.

The amalgamation of greenery, the best minds who taught us, opportunity provided to learn beyond the syllabus, living life away from home, life lessons learnt, applying technical knowledge in day to day life meant to be applied while coding, having a home away from home, hours of solidarity, stress pays off after three years. And out comes “a new you”.

The little hi and hellos of the first day, the fresher party where you meet the entire department, to the usual classes, all is well remembered. Seasons change, and with it changed the semesters.

I will never forget what one of my professors had told during the fresher’s party speech. He told us that to realise and appreciate the beauty of the ocean lying within, you have to go through a lot of pressure and burning inside the lungs and face a lot of trouble; and only then will you realise the beauty of the ocean within. I have never forgotten those words. They are deep within me.

I liked the way the environment was while learning. Ample opportunities to learn things beyond syllabus, freedom to do coding and learning more without any restrictions. I love the way we were taught. Also, greenery during rainy season was a thing to admire. Watching trees bear fruits during particular season, different animals running around, sounds of birds and yes, how can I forget the hostel? :) :)

I have had my time of solidarity and loneliness too. It was during that time that I had written this post. I learnt what being friends with yourself was during that time.

All in all, it was a learning experience. I do have many things to write about the three years. But will take it up another time again..

DEC POST 7 : Day 6 Of my Self Challenge

TO FOLLOW THE CROWD OR TO CHOOSE YOUR OWN PATH?

I chose the road which the crowd chose. I knew I could do something better and different than the crowd but the route was different; not the usual road. I could have done it few years back. I was working on it; Oh wait! No. I wasn’t working as such. It came to me naturally, as if in my blood. I didn’t have to put special efforts for it being my passion. But then, I lost touch. I saw the crowd and I walked like a zombie with the rest. I didn’t give much thought. I do not regret the decision. Because I diverted a bit only to joined the rest back again. Why did I divert? I wanted to be in crowd but by taking a different route. But the path I wanted was always on the opposite side.

Was I running after fame and glory? Naah.. I understand, all that glitters is not gold. Is it because of that realisation that I chose to follow the crowd?

I see people of my age waving hands to the public in the world of glamour, travelling alone and getting a chance to meet “who’s who” of the Page 3. Do I want this? No. That would make my life hell. I knew it from beginning. Is this why I chose to follow the crowd? So that I am in the safe space?

“Touch up” and “re-touch up”.. Go with a smiling face and have a sip of champagne and fake a laughter at the sleazy joke my competitor cracked while in my mind I am having  insecurity since she is my competitor. Was this a reason strong enough for me to go with the crowd?

What I wanted was completely different. Following the crowd has given me a backup. Like I said I do not regret it. But in this game of race, I feel I lost my passion somewhere on the way. So should I still follow the crowd or go with my passion? Or should combine my passion with the path that I followed with the crowd?

DEC POST 6 : Day 5 of my Self Challenge

PEN FRIEND AND LETTER WRITING

The term “Pen friend” during school sounded exciting when I first learnt. Writing letter to a girl whom I never met and who stays in a different city which I have never visited. How cool is that?

My parents had subscribed for Tinkle Digest edition for me. It was a monthly magazine for kids which I suppose was to be read during the entire month. And being the voracious reader that I was, I would complete it the day it got delivered at home. There was one space in the magazine where children would write about their experiences. They would give their names along with their address and photos. There was an article written by a girl who I thought looked like me. There goes. I thought I should write to the girl and make her my pen pal. Sixth or seventh grade I was in I guess. I had learnt the term “pen friend” and now I thought a girl “looked” like me, I wanted a pen friend. I was excited as ever to write something on paper :) And tell about my life and dreams to someone. How odd does it sound now, isn’t it? Describing your personal life to a stranger. But those were the days of innocence. Somehow I never went ahead and wrote the letter to her.

I had taken part in a science writing competition and got selected to go for a camp at Gujarat. Many people from West Coast of India assembled there. There I made many new friends. And there was this girl, who now has become my great confidante and a very close friend. It started with Hi and then we exchanged our addresses after being friends. She had told me to write first, I remember. After coming home, I was after my parents that I would write to this girl, my new friend. My  dad checked the address that I had of her’s. And told me to go ahead. And then my dream came true. I had a pen friend whom I could write to. Thus began my journey of writing letters to a friend, and then waiting excitedly to receive and read her letters to me. Now besides the letters delivered at home in my dad’s name, there were letters delivered in my name too. This was not the first time that letters came in my name. My cousin who worked in the US would write to me regularly. And I would write her long ( read extremely long) letters. I would tell my cousin about my daily stuff and all sort. This if I remember exactly would be when I was in fifth or sixth grade. I don't know how my cousin had the patience to read my detailed letters. I was too excited to write letters to her. And would proudly deliver my letters which would go to USA. Coming back to my pen friend, we kept exchanging letters for many years,the long letters which I would wait for everytime. As kid, I was excited to have a pen pal so I get another chance to write something. But when I really found a pen friend, it wasn't just writing and describing my stuff to a person. It soon developed into close knit friendship of a lifetime. Writing letters and waiting for the reply was exciting.

The exchange of addresses in the remote jungles of Gujarat went ahead and developed into a friendship which has lasted all these years. We didn't meet all these years although she stays in the neighboring state. The trust we lay in each other through those letters laid a strong foundation of our friendship which lasted this long. Thanks to my craziness of childhood of  having a pen friend that I got a wonderful friend.