Loose and Lose: Learnings from Lagori

#ATOZ Challenge Theme: Finding Myself - Living My Life

It is but with shame(?) that I declare that as a kid, I haven’t played this very famous Indian game Lagori. Shocking as it may sound to you, allow me to confess that I wasn’t an outdoor kid, reason being the extra care that parents took. Hence writing and reading were my solace.

Nevertheless, thanks to the  A To Z Challenge, I considered reading about it and learnt that I could imbibe some of its techniques in my quest to seek my goal. Like I said in my previous post Killer Instinct, every thing that you observe should be applied to your life.

You can read about Lagori on Wikipedia.

So what did I learn from this very popular game which I haven’t played? The game involves seekers and hitters. Seekers hit a pile of flat stones placed on top of each other and rebuild it again which the hitters prevent you from doing by hitting you with the same ball that you used for breaking the pile in the first place.

And again in quest for seeking my goals and living my own life, I learnt that breaking and rebuilding the pile of stones can be related to unlearning and relearning. There comes a time when we need to learn, unlearn and relearn the same stuff in a new way. There are some techniques that I need to learn. My writing skills, for example, can be improved by learning new forms of writing.

Just like how hitters in the game try to prevent the seekers from constructing their structure, there will be times when people will try and pull you down. Pelting insults, mocking your out of box ideas, delaying progress by various means are things people do most of the times. Do not get deterred and let these hit you. There will be times when in the name of responsibility, you will be pulled away from your goals. Letting them affect you is losing the sight of your goals.

Tie your goals close to you and do not ever loosen them. The immense urge to fulfill them is your string that should be strong enough so that your goals do not become loose and ultimately are set free from your control. Losing your goals will make your life empty. What is life if you cannot achieve your goals and build the structure which you have always wished to?

The main conclusion I drew from this game is that there will be mockery, insults for choosing a path of your own. People tend to live a life according to the structure laid since times unknown. One diversion by one person and they get their weapons to bombard you. Remember, if your chosen goal is good, nothing can stop you from achieving it except you. Build and create something which the world will admire.

Beware! Hold your dreams tightly. Do not set them loose, lest you lose them. And that might be the end. Unless you have the will and determination to start off everything again. But why lose sight in the first place, isn’t it?


Note: This post is written as part of A To Z Challenge April 2016.

Killer Instinct

#ATOZ Challenge Theme: Finding Myself - Living My Life

A killer whale or Orca. Among the deadliest in the sea. Known for attacking even the largest animal on the planet, the Blue Whale. Such is the ferocity of the Killer Whale.

This tenacity of the Orca made me realise that it is the strong desire and equally ruthless hard work and dedication that allows you to enjoy fruits of your well deserved catch.

An Orca targeting the whales who is way beyond its size can be applied to setting our goals of life. Goals we set are always bigger than the ability that we have. It is the techniques and the abilities we learn and imbibe that helps us achieve our goals.

Learning to apply from things you observe around to realise your dreams helps a lot. When I initially thought of taking up about writing myself for this challenge, I didn’t realise whether “Finding Myself” would really allow me to introspect the way I did all these days. Even though I had it in me, it took a lot of thinking to realise that I should act out of my own inner voice, say No, be firm if I wish to achieve the “perfect” life that I wish to live.

Constant efforts, hours and years of hard work go in achieving things that you wish for. Targets that we set are big. So how do we achieve it with limited abilities? If you are doubtful, think about the Orca who targets animals way beyond its own size.

It is the feeling of Killer Instinct that will take you forward. Ruthlessness, associated with being cruel, should be applied to achieve your goals; but not at the cost of pulling others down.

So my goal is to live a life of my dreams and seek my passion. Where does this Killer Instinct come from? It is one of the quality that can be put to good use. “I wish to become so and so. And I will ruthlessly work hard to achieve it. I won’t sleep until I achieve it.” That’s the Killer Instinct I am speaking about.Whether it is fitness, or being happy, being the way you want or your passion, doing something as if it is the only goal of your life is my way of saying it is Killer Instinct.

Sounds bold but it is the need of the hour when the world has gone competitive and ruthless as far as achieving goals is concerned.

What I believe is if I want the crown on my head, I should show my mettle to the people and make myself worthwhile. And this cannot be achieved unless I work tremendously. That is what is the Killer Instinct in my words.

Writing this as part of A To Z Challenge

Be Jealous

#ATOZ Challenge Theme: Finding Myself - Living My Life

What new did I come up with today for Living My Life?  I will unfold it slowly in this post.

Being satisfied with what you have is good. Cravings create unnecessary stress. You keep craving for more and more and it goes on and you are never content. But…. Life changes, so does the world. And with this we need to accept and adapt.

Change in life is inevitable.Stagnant waters do not take you anywhere. You need to find new oases, or create them if the plains look sterile. Stability in life is paramount, but it cannot be achieved just sitting content.

Competing in a healthy way is good. We are often told not to compare ourselves with others. Yes, even I believe in it. There is no other “I”. I am Unique in things I do and the way I live. (May be more different because of things I do). The Me today is completely different from the Me I was a year back.

"All of us every single year, we're a different person. I don't think we're the same person all our lives." - Steven Spielberg

For progress I need to set a standard. And that standard is a person whose credentials and deeds are much better than mine. Comparing with others is harmful but healthy comparing is necessary. “I am what I am and will continue with this form of writing only.” If this is my goal as far as writing is concerned, I will never get ahead. Of course, in the course of competition, one should be careful not to lose his/her uniqueness that sets them apart from others.

Being jealous and envious in a healthy way is required. But not falling prey to it is in my hands. How to be Jealous in a good way for my progress? I might not have a certain ability which someone has which is required in my field. Try to learn it in a way that you will go ahead of the other person. You don’t have to pull that person down. I am just going ahead in life. Set your next target. Go beyond!!

Jealousy doesn’t mean that I should be discontent just because someone else has which I do not possess. It should actually mean that I should identify the abilities or even for that matter fashion trends which I didn’t know existed before and strive to imbibe them in myself. This will definitely bring surprises to one’s own self when one discovers that he/she has abilities that they never knew they possessed.

Jealousy if taken positively, shouldn’t bring you down in life due to resentment. This will definitely dwindle the progress and instead of moving ahead, I will either be stagnant or pull myself back. Do not scorn yourself, instead have the courage to move forward and possess achievements of the person you envy. Remember not to hate that person. That is resentment. Learn his tactics and strive to be better than him.

This is all what I meant when I said that I should be jealous of others. No! I Will not sit and resent that Mr. A has something which I do not. In fact I will mould myself if I feel that I should have Mr. A’s something. But simply imbibing things which others possess is a waste of time. Identify only those things that you need and like and imbibe them. Unnecessary abilities waste your time. You have to master what you need. Otherwise you will be “Jack of all trades but master of none.”

Lastly, I would say- Be Jealous, but do not let it usurp you, do not fall prey to it, you should know the thin line, do not hate someone, scorn yourself or go down with it. Go ahead! You should envy people who are your idols and be better than them.

This post was written as part of A TO Z Challenge.

I

#ATOZ Challenge Theme: Finding Myself - Living My Life

Today I thought of writing about "I", something about myself.

“I, Me, Myself” - mostly used in synonym with ego, self promotion, thinking about one’s own self without giving regard to others. Isn’t thinking about your own self worthwhile?

I have been lucky enough to have a good childhood devoid of worries and compromise. Having said that, I would like to point that education was given more importance than anything, not just for good future, but for worldly wisdom and knowledge. There was no dearth of resources spent to gain knowledge, be it educational books or the extra curricular books. Being a good student had the perk of not being banned from watching television even during exams. I, on my own too, could balance studies, television time and my hobbies very well. Extra curricular activities in which I was good at, was given same importance as studies. My parents would take me to competitions whenever they found about them. Getting awards for the same gave them a pride which they displayed by various means.

Even as a child, I was a rebel who questioned many beliefs. But the questions were never left unanswered, nor were answered with unscientific reasoning. For beliefs where there wasn’t any scientific or logical explanation, I was told that it had been followed without any reasoning. I was given enough freedom to think and question things. Accepting things with changing times didn’t create distance. I was allowed to live the life that I wished. Peace prevails when there is no stubbornness in acceptance of ideals and changes.

I was also fortunate of not being kept aside just because I am a girl. Be it driving or getting education or anything, I have had this privilege of trying many things.

This freedom and the rebel in me was the foundation on which my idea of living life as I wished and the way I want was based. I commend people who live their lives for the sake of others. But living your life to the fullest is my dream,not only for myself, but I feel every person should have this privilege. Unfortunately, not many people are able to do this.

Doing things because people want me to do is the last thing on my mind. Being brought up as a free thinking girl may have made me like this. But regretting that I couldn’t do anything is not what I wish to do.

There are ample different ways of doing even simplest of the things and ample beliefs that can be skipped and questioned. “Change” is the new word portrayed to promote many things these days. “Be the change that you wish to see in the world.” Is the famous quote by Mahatma Gandhi. Of course, you do need mass support to achieve many things and to enlighten people. But for your personal freedom, all I can say is speak up. That is what I realised. (All thanks to my Husband for making me realise this). You want something, speak up; you do not want something, speak up! No one will do it for you!


This post is written for A TO Z Challenge.

First Week Recap A to Z 2016

So how did this week pass? In a jiffy! Not that this A To Z Challenge was my first challenge. December 2015 was my self blogging challenge where I blogged everyday. It was tough to write on something new everyday. But then due to immense support and guidance from Blogchatter Community, I had in my mind what I would write and had pre planned for A To Z Challege 2016. It was my first Challenge infront of many people and so far I have managed to get decent crowd, if not in huge numbers.

I cannot choose favorite posts from my blog since I have written them on my own. Nevertheless, I would choose three based on the efforts and hardwork that I have put in.

H - Horrible (?) Husband

F - Finding Me

A -  Amateurish

My aim is to get more people to read my books. More important is to read from bloggers around the world through A to Z Challenge and to learn different forms and ways of writing and appreciate it too.

From what I have read till now, these are the bloggers I have been following closely and liked immensely:

Chandni

I discovered her unique story telling art through this challenge. I have always read many of her blog posts old and new. But these stories were beyond anything. Remarkable Chandni!

Kala

She introduced me to many unique styles of interiors

The Solitary Writer

I am loving the style of writing the story in parts.

Looking forward to another week of blogging and discovering more bloggers around.

This post is linked to Blogchatter

Horrible (?) Husband

#ATOZ Challenge Theme: Finding Myself - Living My Life

So in my journey of life, I recently discovered a new entity called Husband.

Education, and then a job had created a rhythm in my life. A pattern I was used to. And I would wonder, is this life all about?

Ok many of my friends started tying knots which in turn gave me creeps. It only meant that with every friends’  wedding that I attended, the pressure at home to marry me off would grow. But I am among lucky few whose family gave me time. Though I hadn’t reached the age where family had to panic to marry me off,(Yes, once a girl reaches a certain age, family is tensed beyond anything to marry off the girl) , I had to listen to the “get married” demand of my family.

I was a happy go lucky who questioned “is getting married and having kids is the only aim of life?” I still believe in it and strongly feel that there are many things in life that you can do to live worthwhile.

I got married. Arranged Marriage. Now what? For long time I felt all my dreams of the things I intended doing were crushed. (Damn, I said in my dreams ample times). So am I going to stop the way I lived? So did marriage mean making sacrifices and forgetting my “dream job” and the writing dream which I harbored since childhood?

I settled in the “new” daily life. I had almost given up on my childhood dream when I started getting deadlines to write on a topic from The Husband. I had once mentioned to him about my dream of becoming a writer one day; the dream which I thought would remain a dream. But then The Husband started living my dream. I started getting deadlines to complete writing on a particular topic. Oh before that, let me mention this one thing.  I prided myself thinking that I was a better writer than most of the people. And here was this person - The Husband who would criticise most of my writings. I always got “a very good writeup” reply from friends. That was it. Getting criticism from The Husband who had known me for short while was a bit beyond digestion.

But I started pondering and over time realised that The Husband was actually criticising me for my own benefit. Not receiving compliments and passing me excellent resources to improve vocabulary and writing was not something which I was used to.

Courtesy

“Don’t know how to cook? Doesn’t matter. I will help.”

“You want to learn something that you have always wanted? Here it is. But I want you to learn it and do it as if it is the only passionate thing that you have always wanted to do.”

“Is this what you have always dreamt of doing? I do not see you putting enough efforts. Work a bit more. I will handle the rest. You concentrate on what you want to do. Remember, passion is everything.”

And initially I thought this was tough on me. Deadlines for writeups? Am I at office? But now when I look at it, I realise that The Husband was more passionate about my dreams than I was. I was harping on becoming a writer and not putting ANY efforts.

Ok I agree I thought The Husband was too tough on me. But he had made it his mission to improve my writing, it was his passion now.

“So, you want to become just a writer or more than that? Don’t you want to do something extraordinary? I want you to use your talent and channelise energy to create something Unique.”

“You do not like to do something? No worries, I will handle it for you.”

So when you have all this in your plate, why do I need to procrastinate like I did until recently? It isn’t that I didn’t have aim in life. But career and passion and two different things. I am still seeking. I think I have found it. With The Husband in tow, don’t you think I might find it much faster than I would have on my own? Isn’t it amazing that your dream become someone’s passion that he makes every effort to achieve it?

Note: This post was written as part of A to Z Challenge 2016.

Grab The Opportunity, Ideas Galore

Writing as part of A TO Z Challenge

#ATOZ Challenge Theme: Finding Myself - Living My Life

Just sitting and thinking about my dreams will just result in dreams being dreams. My theme for this challenge is “Finding Myself- Living My Life” (I am repeating this in every post). So just sitting and thinking about it is of no use unless I stand up and take action.

Searching and grabbing the opportunities as and when they come is necessary. I have neglected this for far too long. Had I done this earlier, I wouldn’t be sitting and writing about this right now. I have let away many opportunities, atleast as far as writing is concerned. And of course many things too.

Brooding and thinking whether the opportunity should be grabbed or not is an utter waste of time.

You want to do something, search for opportunities that give your creativity the much needed exposure. There is no dearth of them in today’s fast competitive world. Google something and you will get a vast number of topics. Selecting the correct and suiting your needs is your responsibility. But beware, there may be traps. Do not fall prey!

So even though I have ideas in abundance, I have this habit of procrastinating. Being a big time procrastinator has kept me away from many opportunities. What kept me away? Boredom, thinking that I will do it tomorrow, laziness. And opportunities didn’t wait for me. I kept thinking what if I do not succeed?

I realise now sitting and waiting, or procrastinating has made ample opportunities run away. I could have grabbed when time was ripe; but I didn’t.

Identifying, filtering and grabbing the opportunities if I wish to prove something to myself is need of the hour. Can’t sit and wait for the ship to arrive.

I also realised that success cannot be guaranteed in every opportunity that I will embark on. But that shouldn't be a disappointment. I can always try next time. But if I put my best, there are chances that I could come close to what I want to achieve; if not win it. Every step is an improvement. So every opportunity can be treated as a step towards my dreams. But if I do not grab it, I will reach nowhere.

Shying away from opportunities, staying away when you know you deserve is another thing that needs to be avoided. People, who do not even deserve will grab it and go leaving behind the shy, deserved people standing where they were. Sounds a bit bold, but asking, grabbing what you deserve is paramount.

You know you know the best. Compete with yourself. You will come across ample people who think they know. Work towards your goal.

Be blunt, be bold. Just Grab it!

Finding Me

#ATOZ Challenge Theme: Finding Myself - Living My Life

Note: This doesn’t have any relation with Finding Nemo. I love the movie a lot though.

F for Finding . And my theme? Finding Myself-Living My Life. So….

Today I had to write about Finding Myself. I am seeking a purpose in my life. Did education and job give me the real purpose? Well, that is necessary for bread and butter in life. But what about passion? I love writing. I may not be as good as others. But writing for me provides a calm. There is an urge within me for more. To learn more. To master more. Of course, I cannot master everything.

By now I have known enough that succumbing to pressure will only suffocate me. More importantly, it will take me away from what I wish to achieve. You may say, how come a 20 something still cannot find what she wants. Is she lost? Is she in dire need of help? May be Yes and may be no. Are my thoughts cluttered? Yes! Hence I need a purpose. Something compelling that drives me crazy till I achieve it.

I need more. I need support. I need recognition. Why do I write blog? Because I love writing. I always have. HERE is my obsession of writing since I was a kid. But why am I bragging about my life on a public forum instead of writing in my diary? Do I like getting attention? No. Reason I write is I want people to appreciate my writing as it gets better. But then Why choose personal topics? I write what comes in my mind. Frank Me :) I get a topic in my mind and words just start flowing.

And while I am on journey of seeking my passion, I would be happy if it inspires someone and they seek good things in life.

Finding one’s purpose always isn’t easy for anyone. Some get it on their plate. Others realise through hardwork. Still others discover it much later in life. Some give up once they “get settled”. Well, does getting married and having kids is the only goal in life? There is more to life. Say what you may, I have my own opinion about this. Career is also not the only goal for me. Finding passion and being passionate about something should be more important.

I agree that I am seeking a dream. At the same time, I wish to live a life that leaves no regrets. Everyone should do that. Be passionate about something and take it up. It is easier said than done. But you can try to do, isn’t it ; instead of regretting later that you could have atleast made an effort towards your dream.

What am I seeking? Purpose? Calm? Dream? It is a long journey. Perhaps every individual is seeking. Or they have.

What am I as a person? Finding Me, Finding Me…. I am still discovering.

Express Yourself

Writing as part of A TO Z Challenge

Theme: Finding Myself: Living My life

Did it help anyone by sitting in a corner of the room? Will you be heard by anyone? Answer is a flat No!

Nobody, yes, no one will give you attention if you think you will be. The world is too busy to care for you. People are too harsh. Accept the reality as it is. Express yourself. Say what do you wish to do in life. Tell the purpose. If you have the desire to do anything, do not wait. Just start. Are you being questioned about it? Do not keep quiet. Express it. They may not understand your purpose. Express it.

Learn to express your opinions. That is paramount in today’s world. No one bothers to linger for long if you cannot do it before the person turns away. You wish to do something, express; you have a demand? Express. It is never too late to learn it.

I have to learn this. And how is that? I do not know. Words falter, thoughts get mixed up. But remaining silent isn’t the solution. Or is it? Not at all.

Express. World listens to people who wish to speak! You have to learn to live your life on your own terms. Do not bend. Just express your desire. Speak up!

Do not hesitate. Express your opinions!

You have your freedom to express your opinions. Moreover, you have the freedom to choose your path. Who gives you that freedom? YOU!

Desire, Determination V/S Dealing with Depression

Writing as part of A TO Z Challenge

Theme: Finding Myself:Living My life


Free Write

You wish to achieve something very dearly. The dream (Whatever it is) that you are chasing, or your desire to achieve something is very strong. You are determined, no matter what, to give a meaning to your life. You wish to excel in something, you do not know what it is yet, still, there is a burning desire, a flame, and determination to make your life worthwhile, but then one day depression creeps in and you give in to it. There is no way then that you can run after your goals.

The struggle to deal with depression is so much, and it is tough to handle. The desire, the passion, the youthful enthusiasm, which you once harbored, has given way to struggling with depression. There comes a point in life where you do not wish to do anything. You have lost your will to achieve your dreams. You do not wish to be in limelight any more, like you used to. You get used to being alone, and lonely. But that too, starts to harass you. You have no control over your mind. It wanders places you never thought it would. Thus, this is the point where you do not feel like engaging in anything. A complete standstill.

The hope, the dream, the enthusiasm is lost in a black hole.