Sunday, April 10, 2016

Horrible (?) Husband

#ATOZ Challenge Theme: Finding Myself - Living My Life

So in my journey of life, I recently discovered a new entity called Husband.

Education, and then a job had created a rhythm in my life. A pattern I was used to. And I would wonder, is this life all about?

Ok many of my friends started tying knots which in turn gave me creeps. It only meant that with every friends’  wedding that I attended, the pressure at home to marry me off would grow. But I am among lucky few whose family gave me time. Though I hadn’t reached the age where family had to panic to marry me off,(Yes, once a girl reaches a certain age, family is tensed beyond anything to marry off the girl) , I had to listen to the “get married” demand of my family.

I was a happy go lucky who questioned “is getting married and having kids is the only aim of life?” I still believe in it and strongly feel that there are many things in life that you can do to live worthwhile.

I got married. Arranged Marriage. Now what? For long time I felt all my dreams of the things I intended doing were crushed. (Damn, I said in my dreams ample times). So am I going to stop the way I lived? So did marriage mean making sacrifices and forgetting my “dream job” and the writing dream which I harbored since childhood?

I settled in the “new” daily life. I had almost given up on my childhood dream when I started getting deadlines to write on a topic from The Husband. I had once mentioned to him about my dream of becoming a writer one day; the dream which I thought would remain a dream. But then The Husband started living my dream. I started getting deadlines to complete writing on a particular topic. Oh before that, let me mention this one thing.  I prided myself thinking that I was a better writer than most of the people. And here was this person - The Husband who would criticise most of my writings. I always got “a very good writeup” reply from friends. That was it. Getting criticism from The Husband who had known me for short while was a bit beyond digestion.

But I started pondering and over time realised that The Husband was actually criticising me for my own benefit. Not receiving compliments and passing me excellent resources to improve vocabulary and writing was not something which I was used to.

“Don’t know how to cook? Doesn’t matter. I will help.”
“You want to learn something that you have always wanted? Here it is. But I want you to learn it and do it as if it is the only passionate thing that you have always wanted to do.”
“Is this what you have always dreamt of doing? I do not see you putting enough efforts. Work a bit more. I will handle the rest. You concentrate on what you want to do. Remember, passion is everything.”

And initially I thought this was tough on me. Deadlines for writeups? Am I at office? But now when I look at it, I realise that The Husband was more passionate about my dreams than I was. I was harping on becoming a writer and not putting ANY efforts.

Ok I agree I thought The Husband was too tough on me. But he had made it his mission to improve my writing, it was his passion now.

“So, you want to become just a writer or more than that? Don’t you want to do something extraordinary? I want you to use your talent and channelise energy to create something Unique.”
“You do not like to do something? No worries, I will handle it for you.”
So when you have all this in your plate, why do I need to procrastinate like I did until recently? It isn’t that I didn’t have aim in life. But career and passion and two different things. I am still seeking. I think I have found it. With The Husband in tow, don’t you think I might find it much faster than I would have on my own? Isn’t it amazing that your dream become someone’s passion that he makes every effort to achieve it?

Note: This post was written as part of A to Z Challenge 2016.


  1. So glad your husband shares your passion, your dream to be a writer and do it extraordinarily well.
    It is tough to find motivation backed by genuine interest and patience to criticize your work to help you improve as you grow.
    Stay put Seeya, you and your husband together will realize your dream of becoming a writer someday soon.
    Best wishes :)

    @theerailivedin from The Era I Lived In

  2. Wohaa, lovely post Seeya, Naah he isn't a Horrible Husband :D

  3. Great post! It feels really good when you share your life with someone who will support you doesn't it? Best regards,

  4. Lucky you for getting a Horrible Husband ;)

    My entry for #AtoZ Challenge 2016: Letter H for Humour

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  6. Such a wonderful post Seeya. Touched on the very soft and inevitable aspects of life that every youth has to grapple with, and that too much earlier than they should.

    Pursuing a career, finding your passion, getting married or not, taking time for self discovery, chasing your dreams. All of part of a universal script that everyone follows sooner or later.

    And it's something which I have been dealing with since the past few years now, right around the same time when my writing/blogging career began. I haven't found resolution on all fronts, but reading your post does give me some happiness knowing that someone who faced with such questions of, 'marriage, kids, passion, dreams, aim of life' did find someone who shares your passion and is very supportive and that even after this transition you are still continuing your journey passionately.

    And, this also leads me to the realization that - arrange marriage is not that bad of an option haa haha. That is something which I might also have to subscribe to if I don't find a partner in the next couple years :P 27 now. . .

  7. Nice post and indeed lucky.. Touchewood..

    God bless you