Friday, September 25, 2015

Learning to accept changes - I

I read a nice novel by one of my favorite novelist Preeti Shenoy.
(Hey I got the signed copy by the author too :) thanks to flipkart) The name of the book is The Secret Wishlist. It is the story of a girl whose one silly mistake in her teenage years forces her to pay the price in what I would say is rather cruel way.
There are many women like her in our surroundings who are either denied to take up their ambitions and even simple joys.
They say that in today's world, a woman is no less than man. True. I agree. Women have proved it. In many or most cases, women, after achieving their academic goals are forced to do what their families want them to do. It mostly boils down to marriage. But in the long run, due to commitments, responsibilities, there are many little joys and things which she wanted to do but are either forgotten or are buried deep in her heart. The joys, hobbies which a woman may want to pursue may be very simple but due to commitments they get lost some where with time.
Just think of few things which you would like to do/to have done. But couldn't/cannot complete may be due to commitments/responsibilities/elders do not agree as they find it a bit weird. Hey, please do not think I am bringing some unnecessary stuff here since I wrote "elders do not agree as they find it a bit weird". If you thought like that please clear it out of your mind. I will give you an example of such thing.  Alright I will take an example from the book The Secret Wishlist since right now I am not able to come up with any example. You may have always wanted to learn some form of dance such as Salsa but you are unable to do it since elders in your family think and worry as to what the society may think. A married woman learning salsa is like a social taboo. This may sound unacceptable but in certain areas of our country and among some societies, such things are still not accepted.
Agreed, society values were created with some good intentions by our fore fathers. Some restrictions may have been imposed on women may be due to foreign invasions many centuries ago or may be due to some other reasons(unknown to me right now). These restrictions have diligently been followed for centuries without regard as to how a woman may be feeling about them (I know there are many restrictions not only on girls but on everyone. I am not discussing all of them here since this topic which I am writing is restricted to the little hobbies and joys of females.
So I was saying about restrictions. Yes, they have been "religiously" followed and are still in some parts of our country. Sometimes women are forced to follow them citing the betterment and security of women. Even though I don't follow sometimes, but I do respect the culture and traditions as they do have reasons behind them. But what is the use of some restrictions if they are strangulating people from enjoying what they want. Little joys, simple activities bring lots of happiness in one's life. So why deny them in the name of some social taboos?
I don't know if I am trying to convey what I have in my mind. People may also not like this post for "attacking" our centuries old traditions, but this has nothing to do with it. Like I said some restrictions were imposed centuries ago due to some invasions and for the protection. A little bending and allowing people to learn good things which they may want to will not create any harm.

Addendum: I had published this post on my wordpress blog on 1 Jan 2013

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