Monday, March 7, 2016

Questions, questions…….

Note: This is an article written in first person. Many women feel like asking but never ask some of the questions I have raised here.

Yes I am a woman! Who was born from a woman. Who will give birth to men and women. I have had this urge to speak since long. Never got a chance to tell openly. So here I am.

I am not asking for reservation or special rights. Neither am I asking to be treated as equals. I am not asking for anything. I am not demanding. I won’t shout slogans in public regarding the atrocities that I have faced. I have always remained silent about them.

I just need answers for some things which I am not able to find answers.

Why am I shunned away from everything every month? I know it will have some ancient significance. Our ancestors must have developed it for my benefit. But as time evolved, it became so rigid that religion was attached to it. I am not allowed to move freely in the house. I am told not to touch anything. No one is taking care of me when I get sudden spasms. I am sitting in deep corner of the house and provided food twice daily. How are children born then, I ask? Won’t you touch my children? Just like how I am not allowed to touch things in the house, will it be fine with you if I don’t let you touch my children? It is a fair deal, isn’t it? You speak of donation and giving food to the needy. I am glad you do that. I wholeheartedly support the cause. There are children who stay hungry and eat from the dustbins. But then, am I making you impure by moving around? If you do not agree with my ideas of modern society, is it fair that I should listen to you? If you do not want to change with time, then why are you dragging me to the past with your ideas? Just like how you have your way of living, I have mine too. Why am I forced to live the way you want if you don’t like the way I live? Did I force you to be the way I want? Then why are you after me?

Then there are things told to me that I should behave like a girl. I behave like a human. Isn’t it enough? I dress, eat and do everything decently. What is your idea of behaving like a girl, will you please explain?

I was told I cannot play football or drive a car because it is a man’s job. What will you do when there is some emergency in the house and the man of the house are not present? Will you wait for them to arrive?

I was told that even if I have a string of degrees attached to me which provided me with wisdom besides the knowledge, I should not protest if what elders say is wrong. Hey wait a minute. I believe in respecting people who have good ideologies whether young or old. I won’t hesitate to bow infront of a person who is younger than me as long as he/she has done something which he/she deserves respect for. I do not bow doesn’t mean I disrespect. I have other ways of showing respect. I just heard that an elder disrespected someone for no reason. Does that elder deserve respect just because he is an elder? A man younger than me helped a girl and dropped her home while an elder was seen discussing how indecent it was. Wouldn’t you have taken help if you were in distress? So who deserves respect? The younger one who selflessly helped the girl or the elder who gave a lecture about how bad it was of that girl to take help from that young man?

Married woman are told to act like married. What is the definition of married woman? Stop laughing and move around the house with trays? A lady was sitting on a sofa discussing current affairs with men while other ladies were discussing how indecent it was for her to discuss with man instead of being in the kitchen with them. Oh and yea, I heard that a married woman was told that wearing a tshirt was a big taboo.

Pink is for girls and blue for guys? Well, I love black. Is that a problem? And I prefer the deepest blue tshirts. So did I turn into a guy?

Do I need to waste my life pleasing others? Did I disrespect you because I wear what I like? There are many woman I heard who dress according to the “norms” of the society and have mentality which is fit to be called a “narrow-minded” mentality.

A woman entered her friends’ house and saw both man and woman doing cooking and cleaning and the laundry. Word was spread in the society that her friend made her husband do housework. They never knew that both husband and wife were helping and sharing the housework. By the time the news reached the other colony, it was concluded that the woman was making her husband clean the house and that the man was weak because he was seen cleaning the dishes.

In some other colony in some distant city, people were making fun of a couple because they didn’t employ a servant to do the cleaning of the house. They didn’t know that the couple preferred doing things on their own. The couple was labelled “stingy”.

A woman was the talk of the town in some village since she employed a cook and servant for her house. The village ladies concluded that the husband had to eat food prepared by a cook while the lady of the house was having gala time. The woman was actually busy researching about doing business for her benefit and didn’t have much time. Her husband supported her.

I thought it is high time that I should travel alone. Then this famous dialogue came up “ Akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai.” Damn!!! Here goes…

I have lived my life pleasing others and it is high time that I break from shackles and live a life on my own terms. Hey, do I need your permission for that too?

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